No Meat For You! - A St. Louis Fish Fry Blog

St. Joan of Arc Offers Hot Eats, Cool Treats

2011-04-19T17:01:00.000-05:00

Around this time in the season, my fish fry visits start to become more and more monotonous. Six weeks of feasting on run-of-the-mill spaghetti and drinking cheap Natural Light will do that to a person. Especially as the weather warms up, and we’d all, admittedly, rather be drinking on a patio somewhere. That said, I was a little worn for the weary heading into the fish fry at St. Joan of Arc in South City on Friday. Luckily, the fry surpassed my (albeit low) expectations.

Early in the season, a faithful reader posted photos from a FEAST Magazine article on the Facebook page featuring the St. Joan of Arc fry. I had visited St. Joan of Arc years back and posted a positive review. However, with the addition of an ice cream sundae bar and a few outside the box sides, I thought it may be worth adding to the weekly reader poll. Apparently others agreed because the fry beat out competitors by nearly 15 votes.

Hearing good things from fellow fish fry reviewers, I anticipated a long wait. But when I arrived around 6:15 p.m. there was no wait and still plenty of hot food on the line. I ordered the fried cod, Irish potatoes and parmesan broccoli. Yes, I justified eating fried fish by ordering a side of broccoli.

All of the food was hot and tasty, especially the potatoes and homemade tartar sauce. The baked fish and mac’n’cheese received positive reviews as well. As in most cases, the highlight of my meal was the dessert - an ice cream sundae bar. A mere buck and a half buys you a generous serving of vanilla ice cream and all the toppings you could want. It may not be Ted Drews, but any fish fry with a sundae bar deserves a nod in my book.

Now if only parishes would start adding patio seating, we’d really be in business.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 fish patties

Photos from top to bottom:
Overly excited about my fish sandwich
Typical plate at St. Joan of Arc
MMMMM…ice cream

Steer Clear of the Yellow Stuff

2011-04-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

A good fry requires a fine balance of tasty fare, good value, efficient service and friendly atmosphere. St. Justin Martyr in Sunset Hills delivered on three out of four of the criteria, but came up short in one key area: the food.

While the fish, both fried and baked, was above average, the sides seriously lacked. The spaghetti was just mediocre, and the mac’n’cheese was almost inedible – cold and bland.

I will say the meal was a great value, with $8 buying a healthy serving of fish, three sides, a dessert and drink. But since “Dot’s Slaw” is the only side worth eating, I’d advise ordering up a triple serving of slaw. What’s that? Not a slaw fan? Sorry. I heard the cheese pizza is good.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 fish patties.

St James Serves Up Overwhelming Portions and Underwhelming Taste

2011-04-04T21:45:00.001-05:00

As a casual fish fry diner, St. James in Dogtown might do the job. The fry offers huge portions at a decent value ($8), friendly parishioners keep the line moving quickly and there are plenty of dessert options. However, as the Fish Fry Master, I found the experience to be a little lack luster…even by fish fry standards.

The fried cod was a little bland and cookie-cutter. Literally, every piece of cod was the exact same size and square shape – a sure sign of frozen, pressed fish. The baked cod was mushy and under-cooked, and the green beans were cold. On the upside, the fried catfish received rave reviews and the red pasta was pretty tasty, so perhaps my mistake was in my choices.

I think the menu could benefit from a little creativity, and the fish needs a little TLC. However, if you’re in the neighborhood (and you don’t spend six weeks a year scrutinizing fish fries) it may feel like a good bang for your buck.

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10 fish patties.

Do As The Irish Do

2011-04-01T10:07:00.000-05:00

The clear winner this week is St. James the Greater Catholic Church in Dogtown. Now let me preface this trip by saying I know absolutely nothing about this fish fry. As the Fish Fry Master, I often times receive tips on what certain fries serve, what their niche is or at least what kind of booze selection they offer. But when it comes to St. James, I’m going in blind. Well, at least that was the case before I read this less than stellar review this morning on The 13 blog - http://the13blog.wordpress.com. All I have to say is, God help us.

I hope to arrive around 6:15 p.m. tonight. Care to join in my plight?

St. James the Greater Catholic Church
1360 Tamm Avenue
St. Louis, Mo 63139
www.stjamesthegreater.org

St. Mary Magdalen: Grab a Beer and Stay Awhile

2011-03-30T13:42:00.005-05:00

There’s a reason 1,200+ people visit St. Mary Magdalen in Brentwood every Friday. Is it the creative signage or innovative menu? Probably not. Is it the lively soundtrack or rumors of JELL-O shots? Possibly. But, I’d bet it’s the “God’s Cod” that keeps them coming back week after week.

Whether it was fried, baked or wrapped in a tortilla, all the fish received rave reviews from the crew on Friday. But the baked salmon with homemade dill sauce is hands down the best fish I’ve had from a fish fry in years (I realize the weight of this statement). It’s so good, it’s as if you’ve ordered it off the menu at the finest Red Lobster this side of the Meramec.

The main dish is supported by a unique selection of sides, most of which are homemade. My favorites include the parmesan potato chips, sweet and sour slaw and green beans amandine. Desserts were delicious and plentiful, so much in fact that they were doling out extras for free at the end of the night.

The bar is stocked with Schlafly on tap, and strategically positioned right before you start the waiting game. First, you wait in a line to order your meal, then you wait in a different line to pay, which finally leads to a line to pick-up your food. Don’t get me wrong, it’s worth the wait. Just think about bringing some delicious Triscuits to hold you over.*

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 fish patties.

*If you don’t get this reference, I’m sorry.

God's Cod and Jell-O Shots

2011-03-25T09:19:00.001-05:00

The votes are in and we’re heading to St. Mary Magdalen in Brentwood this week. This fish fry has been popular for years – so much so that they have their own facebook page. However, this year they’ve updated their menu with fish tacos, baked salmon with dill sauce and “God’s Cod” with homemade parmesan chips. Plus, there’s a rumor they have Jell-O shots! They serve food from 4:30 – 7:30 p.m., and I hope to arrive around 6:30 p.m.

Hope to see you there!

St. Mary Magdalen
8750 Magdalen Ave
Brentwood, MO 63144
http://www.smmpf.org/

St. Mark Brings Us Back to Basics

2011-03-21T21:54:00.004-05:00

In this day and age as many fries go fancy with fish tacos and frog legs, few parishes stick to the basics and do them well. While the menu at St. Mark in South St. Louis may be predictable, the friendly service and tasty fare make up for the lack of choices.

My weekly plate-o-carbs consisted of fried cod and shrimp, spaghetti and hush puppies washed down with a slice of homemade cake. And actually listing that out makes me realize I need to opt for the baked option this week. That said, my meal at St. Mark was solid – fish was crispy, spaghetti was above average and hush puppies were hush puppies (you just can’t mess up hush puppies in my eyes).

The staff at St. Mark was super fast and friendly, there was no line and plenty of room to spread out. It was such a pleasant fish fry experience that it made up for the fact that they ran out of several items some may consider key – mac’n’cheese, shrimp, water and beer. I fear the No Meat For You crew may have cleaned them out.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 fish patties

Hope This Guy Serves Up A Mean Cod

2011-03-17T15:54:00.004-05:00

The voters have spoken, and we’re heading to St. Mark’s in South City tomorrow. They serve food from 4:30 – 7 p.m., and I hope to arrive around 6:15 p.m. From the looks of the menu below, looks like a pretty average fry. Let’s all hope they can wow us with outstanding atmosphere or outrageously cheap beer.

Hope to see you there!

St. Mark Church
8300 Morganford
St. Louis, MO 63123
www.StMarkSTL.com

Fish Fry Menu
Dinners $8.00
Shrimp 6 piece, 2 sides and dessert
Fried Cod 2 piece, 2 sides and dessert
Fried Combo 1 piece fish, 3 shrimp, 2 sides and dessert
Baked Cod 1 piece, 2 sides and dessert

Children’s Dinners (or young at heart) $4.00
Shrimp 3 piece, 2 sides and dessert
Fried Cod 1 piece, 2 sides and dessert

Sandwiches
Fried Cod-1 piece with bread $3.00
Baked Cod-1 piece with bread $3.50

Side dishes for dinners
Applesauce Green Beans French Fries
Spaghetti Slaw Hush Puppies
Mac n Cheese

Cheese Pizza $2.00

Complimentary coffee
Other drinks are available for purchase.
One complimentary dessert included with a dinner purchase.

Holy Infant Will Have You Hooked

2011-03-14T21:26:00.006-05:00

After four years of reviewing fish fries, I may have stumbled upon the Holy Grail of St. Louis fish fries – Holy Infant in Ballwin. This West County fry has it all; diverse menu, great-tasting food, upscale bar (comparatively, of course) and a friendly atmosphere. And it doesn’t hurt that my ‘Uncle D’ and Aunt Kathy were able to score us private VIP seating in the faculty conference room, plush chairs and all.

Now this fry is obviously no secret. When we arrived at 6:30 p.m. the line was nearly out the door. However, the staff works like a well-oiled machine and the line moves quickly. Plus, it gives patrons time to hit up the bar and grab a grilled shrimp skewer with their wine or beer.

The menu boasts both baked and fried options, and fish selection includes cod, shrimp, salmon and my favorite, grouper. I highly recommend the crinkle fries, and the mac’n’cheese received rave reviews as well. My one criticism is that the only complementary dessert was a chocolate chip cookie. Under non-Lent circumstances this would have been great (I love ALL cookies), but since I’m weaning myself off chocolate during Lent, it meant no dessert for me.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 fish patties!

Photos from top:
Posing with my plate.
It was a carb load for the non-fish eaters.

Westward Expansion

2011-03-09T22:39:00.004-06:00

I’m kicking off the 2011 Lenten season by venturing into uncharted territory – West County. For those of you who have followed the blog (or even just skimmed it) you know that I live in the city, work in the city, play in the city and generally like to stay in the city. Not that I have anything against the area west of Hwy 270, but why leave when you have everything you need within 10 minutes? Plus it’s really hard to get to the county fries when I usually can’t leave my downtown office until after six.

So this week we’re heading to a fish fry that I’ve been meaning to try for years – Holy Infant in Ballwin. The menu boasts grouper, salmon, cod and shrimp, and they offer baked and fried options. They even have cheese pizza for the non-fish eaters at the fish fry, and Fritz's Frozen Custard for those who just come for the dessert.

Hope to see you there around 6:30!

Holy Infant Church
627 Dennison Dr.
Ballwin, Mo 63021

Mary Mother of the Church: No Fish For You

2010-03-23T21:19:00.002-05:00

This week's review is going to be short and sweet. Reason being, because I didn't actually get to eat dinner at Mary Mother of the Church. While the South County parish expanded their menu and hours this season, they weren't anticipating the crowd and had sold out of fish by 6 p.m.

Since half of the blog party had already arrived, and Aunt Kathy spent all day baking a plethora of delicious desserts, I chose instead to hit-up the drive thru, pick-up a fillet-o-fish and head to Mary Mother to follow through with the review.

From what I could gather, the parishioners were friendly and the dinning area was spacious. The food received good reviews (from those who ate), and the beer was cheap. Highlight of the night: Aunt Kathy's banana cake, chocolate inside outside cake and her famous hot milk cake.

Judging on desserts alone, I give this fry a 10 out of 10 fish patties. However, basing my review on the fact that I didn't actually get to sample the fish, I have to be a little more judicious.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 10 fish patties

St. Margaret Mary Alacoque: Worth the Drive

2010-03-17T21:35:00.004-05:00

After a huge upset in the voting process last week, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque came out on top. So I, being a democrat and dedicated to the no-meat cause, reluctantly drove the more than 20 minutes out of the way to test out the fish fry that all the “Oakvillians” rave about. And luckily, it lived up to my high expectations.

SMMA’s menu is diverse and almost everything I tasted was top notch. Word of advice, go for the “cod chunks” instead of the cod patty (patty was formerly frozen and a little bland). The spaghetti was good (for meatless spaghetti) and the chilled green bean salad was to die for. Dessert was tasty (as all dessert is), but be sure to pick it up with your meal, otherwise they may run out by the time you finish your meal.

In general, the parishioners were very friendly and welcoming. That is, unless one dared to make a trip to the bar. A few of my friends (who are in their mid twenties) were heavily hassled by a couple rude bartenders who were convinced they were underage kids trying to scam beer from a fish fry. Obviously, the bartenders didn’t know they were messing with friends of the fish fry master.

Overall, it was an above average fry…just don’t forget to bring your ID.

Overall rating: 8.5 out of 10 fish patties

Photos from top:
Me and some of my devoted followers
A small fraction of the Goedeker's and Paradowski's

Illinois Bureau: Are Pork Grinds Fair Game?

2010-03-11T17:32:00.001-06:00

After unsuccessfully trying to locate a fish fry associated with St. Jerome in Troy, we settled on the VFW Post 976. At first this would seem to be a bold move, however we were relatively pleased with the results.

The Illinois smoking ban has done wonders to clean-up little places like this! Wait time was pretty rough and it took around 30 minutes to carry-out. Afterwards we discovered that there was a handy "call-ahead" option.

Choices were plentiful and included "upscale" baked options. Sides featured onion rings and fried mushrooms. More shocking were the bags of home-made pork rinds available for 3 bucks, although I'm not sure if you can eat pigskin during Lent!

Prices were average, and the fish ended up being really good. We suspect that they use some kind of a cajun fish batter. Throw out the wait and this place is worth a stop! That is, if you are anywhere near Troy.

Overall 7 out of 10 lobster tails!

Great People, Good Food, Drink Menu Needs Work

2010-03-09T20:27:00.003-06:00

Last week we visited St. Mary Magdalen on Kingshighway in South City. Fish was hot, atmosphere was welcoming and desserts were delicious. But there was one thing missing, and it was no small oversight – the BEER!

As fish frys have evolved into my Friday ritual, I’ve come to rely on a cold one (or three) to wash down the deep-fried goodness. Its absence was tough to swallow, and admittedly, took at least two patties off my final rating. Luckily, Cotters was close by to quench our thirst.

Outside of the lack of adult beverages, the combination of fast and friendly service, diverse menu and unique atmosphere make Magdalen’s an above average fry. The jack salmon and shrimp were hot and hand-breaded. The spaghetti was sub-par, but the slaw, hush puppies and homemade lemon cake made up for it.

One of the most unique features about Magdalen’s fish fry is that they create a new theme every week. Last Friday was Italian night, and a parishioner went from table to table offering homemade Italian desserts. My advice: head to Magdalen’s on Friday, March 19 when they will be selling green beer.

Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 fish patties

Illinois Bureau: Edwardsville Knights of Columbus

2010-03-08T09:17:00.001-06:00

The Illinois Bureau is going to take the "better late than never" approach to our fist fish fry review -- we have had our hands full with a new addition to the team, Madeline Kathleen Durst. While she can not yet eat fish, I am sure that she will provide her opinion in one way or another.

For the first sunday of Lent, we visited an old faithful standby, the Edwardsville K of C. This was mostly because we were due to have a baby at any moment! At any rate, the K of C delivered with great service, cold beer and good food all at affordable prices. The kids menu was even sampled by our under 5 division. This place always passes the test, and is one of the only places in IL with table service. We completely recomend either the catfish or cod, but the shrimp is also good.

Captain D says: 9 out of 10 fish sticks!

St. Gabe’s Lives Up To Its Reputation

2010-03-02T22:19:00.008-06:00

For those of you who are new to the blog, there is a reason I’m referred to as the “fish fry master.” While yes, the term may be self-appointed, most would agree that more than three years of attending parish fish fries justifies the title. And in all my time reviewing fried fish, I have yet to come across a fry as awesome as St. Gabriel’s in South City.

The parishioners at St. Gabe’s have the fish fry down to an art form – friendly service, tasty food and plenty of canned Busch to go around.

The menu is extensive, offering various types of hand-breaded and baked fish. Sides include red and garlic butter pasta, mac & cheese, slaw, fries, green beans, applesauce and bread. Dinners are $8 and served with a drink and dessert. Everything was delicious and hot, and portions were generous.

While the line was long, it moved fast and friendly staff came through to pass out free beer. This gesture alone is enough to keep me coming back. I was accompanied by a sizeable crowd of fellow fish-lovers, and we were able to find two full tables next to each other. They had a big screen TV set-up showing the Olympics, which was an obvious upgrade from the average run-of-the-mill fry.

If you’re in the neighborhood, give St. Gabe’s a try. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.*

Overall rating: 10 out of 10 fish patties!

Photos from top:
Dan pretends Renee is a tasty fish sandwich
Justin bonds with my nephew Dominic
Typical plate at St. Gabe's fish fry

* I don’t actually make guarantees on this blog.

Next Stop: My Hood

2010-02-24T17:36:00.002-06:00

The votes are in, and no, I didn't rig it. This week we're heading to St. Gabs, which just so happens to be within walking distance to my house. I've heard around town that this is fry is top notch. I've also heard that they pass out free beer when the line gets too long. Here's hoping!

Fry goes to 7 p.m., and I plan to arrive around 6 p.m.

Be there, or be square.

St. Gabriel the Archangel
6303 Nottingham Avenue
St. Louis MO, 63109
314-353-6303
http://www.saintgabes.net/index.htm

Polish Parish Offers Friendly Fry

2010-02-22T21:30:00.006-06:00

The verdict is in - the Poles know how to fry up a decent fish. The fry at St. Agatha's in Soulard was a festive kick off to the 2010 Lenten season. Atmosphere was great (kitschy, even by fish fry standards, but great), food was above average and the beer cooler was fully stocked with exotic malt liquors containing 8% alcohol.

Upon arrival, we expected to wait in line, but it would appear no one actually knows about this diamond in the ruff. In fact, soon after sitting down, a patron alerted the staff of our blog party and the parishioners brought over free homemade bread and Polish beer in appreciation for us bringing in, what turned out to be, about 50% of the revenue for the night. Note to any other frys we visit this season: free food and beer weigh heavily on my critique of your operation.

Aside from the bribery, the food was pretty decent by fish fry standards, and portions were more than generous. Fish seemed to be fresh, not frozen or straight from the Van de Kamp's box. The potato salad, fries and bread were especially tasty. And the dessert was good (as dessert usually is), despite only having one option available. The meal was a steal at $6 for dinner, dessert and tea/coffee.

My only recommendation would be to offer a couple different fish options. With fish frys becoming more progressive, diners are accustomed to a shrimp or fish taco here and there. Also, offer free water. Even if it's in an old pitcher from the church basement tap, we can't tell the difference.

Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 fish patties

Szczęśliwy Czas Smażonego mięsa Ryby!

2010-02-16T21:40:00.004-06:00

Well friends, we're back!

Back for a third season of mediocre, and sometimes over-priced, fish and all the Goedeker commentary you can stomach. For the next seven Fridays we'll travel throughout the city in search of the best fish St. Louis Catholics can fry up. As always, it's sure to be a trying couple months. But we'll get through it together, with a little help from a few Bud Lights and a lot of ketchup.

We're kicking-off the 2010 season with a truly unique fry, unknown to many aficionados. As many of you know, Justin is half Polish. To show my appreciation for my man friend, and fully embrace his culture, we're heading to St. Agatha's in Soulard for the Polish American Fish Fry.

Hope to see you there!

Friday, February 19 @ 6:15 p.m.
St. Agatha Polish Roman Catholic Church
3239 South 9th Street (at Utah)
St. Louis, Mo 63118
(314) 772-1603
http://www.polishchurchstlouis.org/

A Rude Awakening

2009-04-07T20:53:00.003-05:00

I’ve heard that when you spend too much time anticipating an event, it’s inevitable that it won’t live up to your expectations. That said, this was the case in regards to our recent visit to Sacred Heart in Eureka. I blame our sub-par experience on bad food, high prices and rude staff.

That’s why I’ve compiled the below list of things parishes should NOT do in order to encourage repeat customers. Including:

Don’t burn multiple batches of fish and then continue to serve it to diners who paid $13 for all-you-can-eat fish

Don’t assign your most rude and socially awkward parishioner to serve as the maître d’. There’s no reason to make visitors feel unwelcome, especially when they’ve traveled from far away lands such as Kansas City, Chicago and South City to dine at your “establishment.”

Don’t enlist parishioners to direct traffic to the very back of the parking lot, if they’re just going to let their buddies pull into the open spot in the front row. I didn’t see a handicap tag on that sedan.

Don’t yell at a fish fry blogger’s sister when she attempts to alert you that the water pitchers are empty. You know who you are.

Don’t turn out the lights when 30 people are still seated at tables, visiting with one another. Karma will come back and bite you...you feel that one?

In the end, the company was great, and the food was not terrible. However, after waiting a full year and paying almost $13 to partake in the popular Eureka fry (yes, I said popular when referring to Eureka), the food and service would have to measure up to the likes of Red Lobster to meet my expectations.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 10 fish patties

For the record, anyone who says this review was negatively swayed by the fact that the Pastor at Sacred Heart almost failed my sister in high school religion class, you’d be wrong. She slacked off and slept through most of the classes - she deserved the D.

A Sign Of The Times

2009-04-07T19:53:00.005-05:00

As fore mentioned earlier in the season, it seems fish fries are coming back in style. No, not since CNN recently reported from the fry at St. Cecilia’s, and not even because I write this incredibly entertaining and educational blog, but the true sign of the times is fish tacos.

Some fellow fish fry attendees may have noticed this year the ever-evolving menus. Gone are the days of fried cod patties and bland green beans; diners are now offered grilled fish specialties and fried mac’n’cheese bites.

Our recent trip to St. Stephen’s in South City opened my eyes to just how creative some parishes are getting to bring customers in the door. The South City parish offers a wide variety of fish dishes, sides, desserts, beer and wine. They even raffle off sweet attendance prizes, such as patchwork quilts, house plants and doodads.

The fish tacos, new to the menu last week, were surprisingly tasty, and the grilled tilapia received good scores as well. The line moved fast, wait staff was pleasant and Grandma gave the pink zinfandel two thumbs up. I give them bonus points for the generous portions and hush puppies.

Overall rating: 9 out of 10 fish patties

Illinois Bureau: Great Entertainment; Edible Food

2009-04-03T13:48:00.002-05:00

This past Friday we traveled a little bit off of the beaten path by visiting the St. Ambrose/Knights of Columbus fry in Godfrey. For those of you that are unfamiliar, the Village of Godfrey represents the northernmost limit of the STL metro area. This event was hosted by St. Ambrose but is held at a brand new K of C facility.

Although very busy, the wait time was pretty much average and we had our food within 10 minutes. Unfortunately seating was scarce and our choice of fish was limited to buffalo or whitefish by the time we arrived. Sides were plentiful though and included green beans and onion rings for a change. A standard platter was served with tea or coffee.

On a weird note, when you walked up to the iced tea dispenser a man actually operated the tapper for you! I guess nobody is to be trusted with that kind of high-tech equipment?

A nice surprise at this fry was the 5-piece band that was playing some really old school dance tunes. I particularly liked the old guy that played the trombone! The food ended up being edible but not great, and desert choices were sort of weak. I would suggest arriving early at this popular fry to maximize your experience.

Overall Rating 6.5 out of 10 Crab Cakes

Everything is Better Fried

2009-03-24T20:31:00.012-05:00

I’ve seen the signs, I’ve received the e-mails, and so this week, we’re headed to St. Stephen Protomartyr Catholic Church in South City. Not because one of my city-dwelling friends coerced me into it, but because I heard they offer fried mac’n’cheese bites and hush puppies.

And judging by the crowd in this picture from a St. Stephen's fry of yesteryear, it's sure to be a crazy Friday night. So bring your beer money, and get there around 6 PM.

St. Stephen Protomartyr Catholic Church
3949 Wilmington Ave
St. Louis, MO 63116
www.saintstephenstl.org/index1.shtml

South County's Best Kept Secret

2009-03-24T19:44:00.004-05:00

Sometimes the best eateries are those that don’t advertise - the ones that no one knows about, like Schottzies Bar & Grill in South County or The Gravois Grill in Fenton. The same goes for the fish fry at Mary, Mother of the Church in South County. In my humble opinion, it’s the best kept secret since QT taquitos.

Even with the addition of cheese toasted ravioli and cheese pizza, there was no wait at Mary Mother. The food was tasty, portions were generous, and beer was only $1. The dessert table was filled with all the sugary treats most Catholics give up for Lent – which is probably why the staff was offering all diners seconds.

It’s a toss up on if the highlight of the evening was Aunt Kathy’s hot milk cake or the moment when J Carnage, a first-time fish fry visitor, immediately dumped his tray of food on the ground upon sitting down to the table. I’ll let you decide.

Overall rating: 9 out of 10 fish patties

Illinois Bureau: Oldie But Goodie

2009-03-23T09:22:00.002-05:00

This week we ventured back to an old favorite fish fry, the Edwardsville Knights of Columbus. We are no strangers to this location and frequent it on a regular basis during the off season. No waiting in line here, just sit down, place your order and presto - your food is delivered to the table! Catfish and cod were sampled, and both were scrumptious as usual. Unfortunately there are no choices with the sides at the K of C, slaw and fries are standard.

Prices were pretty much in line with other locations, with one exception - the dessert. A sweet treat in E-ville will set you back a whopping $1.50. However, the pecan pie was tasty so I shouldn't complain. We would recommend this fry to anyone.

Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 Tuna Melts

New Menu at Mary Mother

2009-03-20T09:13:00.008-05:00

This week we're headed to Mary, Mother of the Church in So Co, not only because it's my God Mom's parish (although that has a lot to do with it), but I feel obliged to test the new menu items. Looking forward to the cheese toasted ravioli and the new potatoes, but the highlight of the night is sure to be the Hot Milk Cake.

If you're intrigued, join us tonight at Mary Mother around 6 PM.

Mary, Mother of the Church
5901 Kerth Road
St. Louis, MO 63128
Fry runs from 4 - 7 PM
http://www.mmoc4u.org/pages/SocialAnnouncements.aspx

The Early Bird Gets The Worm

2009-03-19T22:17:00.006-05:00

So yes, this review is long overdue, and yes, I’m giving everyone less than 24 hrs notice on where we’re headed this week. However, until writing fish fry reviews starts paying my rent and health insurance, blogging takes a back seat to my actual job.

Without further adieu, below is a list of pros and cons of the fish fry we attended at St. Cecilia’s last week. Note: the cons, while few, may weigh heavily depending how hungry you are.

Pros:
Convenient location: to my house, of course
Diverse crowd: while most fish fry crowds consists of 70% elderly white people and 30% soccer moms and their kids, St. Cecilia’s attracts diners of all ages and races. I even saw a few people my own age.
Lively atmosphere: loud music, crowded bar, tiny Mexican-American children in costumes and long lines of hungry Catholics – what more could you ask for.
Friendly parish: the pastor and the deacon walked through the line all night, greeting the diners and pretending to understand Uncle D’s jokes.
Extensive menu: they offer your typical fish fry menu on top of the tasty authentic Mexican dishes
Decent desserts: my chocolate cake was awesome, and my friend Andrew said he thoroughly enjoyed the flan.

Cons:
Two hour wait time
Ran out of food at 8 PM and resorted to giving diners plates full of corn or offering full-refunds.

Bottom line, I think St. Cecilia’s offers a truly unique fish fry. However, the secret is out and if you want to take full advantage of the menu, get in line by 4 PM or call-in a take-out.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 fish patties

Illinois Bureau: Worth The Wait

2009-03-16T22:05:00.003-05:00

For St. Patrick's Day weekend we decided to try our luck at the Knights of Columbus in Bethalto.

Out of the gates the wait time was a little bit long, but things improved from there. The vast menu boasted cod, catfish, buffalo, whitefish, shrimp and "Kermit the Frog's" legs. The list of plentiful side items included spaghetti, fries, slaw and potato salad. As a bonus all meals came with fresh bread, a desert and a drink.

Here is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, fish (minus shrimp and frog legs) and sides were all you could eat! Wash everything down with a $4 pitcher of refreshing brew, and you get a night to remember.

Overall Rating 9 out of 10 Fish Tacos

Guest Blogger: St. Clare of Assisi

2009-03-16T21:13:00.002-05:00

Since I started this venture a couple years ago, I like to think that this blog has had a positive impact on fish fry sales in the St. Louis area. Or, maybe just boosted sales at the fries I attend. Still, some readers have really embraced fish fry Fridays. One of these readers happens to be my boss, Mr. Marc Abel.

On Friday, Marc sprung and took his family somewhere real nice -- the fish fry at St. Clare of Assisi. Below is a review of the establishment from his daughter, Sam:

1. It was really really crowded and hard to find a place to park. 2. The fish was great!! 3. It was kind of expensive - $8. 4. We payed extra for a brownie that was the best brownie ever and was an inch thick!! 5. No croutons in the salad. 6. The line was sooooo long that we had to take it to go. 7. My dad said the beer was good.

I would give it a 7 out of 10 fish patties.

- Samantha Abel

Get Ready for a Fish Fry Fiesta

2009-03-11T09:05:00.005-05:00

Some of you may have heard how the Goedeker family celebrates Jesus' rising from the dead every Easter Sunday -- stuffing ourselves stupid at the all-you-can-eat Casa Gallardo brunch (classy, I know). So when I read the below article on www.stltoday.com this morning, I figured, why wait another 4 weeks?

In addition to the traditional fish fry fare, St. Cecilia's in South City offers authentic Mexican food (made by authentic Mexicans), such as tacos, quesadillas and chilie relleno. They also boast Mexican-themed entertainment every Friday. Fingers-crossed they serve Margaritas!

So brush up on your Spanish and don your sombreros, we're heading south to St. Cecilia's for a little culture this Friday.

Nuevo For Lent
www.stltoday.com/stltoday/lifestyle/stories.nsf/cooking/story/14CB04FC3F9D0F16862575740065040D?OpenDocument

St. Cecilia’s Parish
5418 Louisiana Ave.
St. Louis, MO 63111
www.stceciliaparish.com
Fish Fry runs from 4:30 - 8PM
(Arrive shortly after 6PM)

(photo by Christian Gooden/P-D)

Leeps and Bounds Above The Rest

2009-03-10T20:47:00.005-05:00

Some people might say cutting in line at a church fish fry is a sin, I say it’s a small price to pay in the name of journalistic integrity. When I arrived to Our Lady of Providence (OLP) to hear that frog legs were running low, I took the liberty of jumping to the front of the line with my friends, the Sedlak’s, who had been waiting for over 30 minutes. My guilt was quickly lifted when I received a heaping plate of deep fried shrimp and frog.

My excitement quickly fizzled after realizing that frog legs bare a striking resemblance to frog butt, and are connected by a center pelvic bone. The black veins running throughout didn’t help either. While they didn’t taste terrible, I’d only recommend them to a blind man.

Everything else on the menu was pretty top notch by fish fry standards. Crinkle fries were crispy, mac’n'cheese was creamy and both of my desserts were a sugary delight.

Only complaint - no beer. I was under the impression that alcohol was considered to be a cornerstone of the Catholic religion. Apparently this rule doesn’t hold up in Crestwood.

Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 fish patties

Illinois Bureau: Holy Family Delivers Last Course First

2009-03-10T09:10:00.002-05:00

On the list this week was Holy Family Catholic Church in Granite City. We enjoyed this fry last year and it didn't disappoint this time. Upon arrival the joint was packed, but Holy Family had an efficient three step system.

1. Place order and pay
2. Get drinks (free tea and coffee) and buy delicious dessert
3. Sit and eat delicious dessert

By the time you are finished eating the last course first, your food is delivered to the table. The service was great, and prices were pretty reasonable. As a bonus, everyone's favorite toothy freshwater fish (Wally the Walleye) was all you could eat! Sides such as mac n' Cheese and french fries were dealt in generous portions. The only knock on Holy Family is that they ran out of cod and the fry finishes at 7!

Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 Fillet O' Fish Sandwiches

Illinois Bureau: Never Fear, Beer is Here!

2009-03-05T15:42:00.001-06:00

Welcome back fish fry fans! The Illinois Bureau is up and running with a new list of venues to visit. While we don't have any fancy digital photos or links this week, here is a nice review of an east side fish joint.

Our first victim was Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Fairview Heights. Holy Trinity is a brand new church and the set-up was well organized. Top that off with plentiful seating and a friendly staff, and this fry gets an A for atmosphere!

When first arriving we were a little disgruntled with an extremely long waiting line, but never fear, beer is here! That's right, 16 ounce drafts of your favorite adult beverages were only $2! That pretty much made the wait for food enjoyable.

We were a little disappointed that the only fish choice was cod (baked or fried), but it tasted great so why complain. Unfortunately, the sides weren't anything to get excited about. The prices were in line with other fries and two adults could eat for around ten greenbacks. The dessert set-up had coffee and hot tea available, but everything was cleared out by the time we got there. This seems to be the common theme with local fries.

Holy Trinity takes a hit on wait time, selection and sides, but gains points for atmosphere and awesome beer prices!

Overall 7 out of 10 Gordon's Fish Sticks

Crestwood Fish Fry is Sure to be Hopping!

2009-03-04T12:15:00.006-06:00

Another week, another fish fry to ambush. This week, I propose we head west to Our Lady of Providence (OLP) in Crestwood.

The OLP men’s club who hosts the fry, claim to have “the best of the basics.” As many of us have experienced, a statement such as this really doesn’t mean much. However, when I heard they offer fried frog legs, I was sold. While I used to catch tiny frogs as a kid and keep them as pets in my Dad’s cooler, I’ve heard their legs taste like chicken - which might be a nice change up from the bone-filled salmon I choked down last week.

If you’ve got a hankering for fried cod (or amphibian) on Friday, or if you’re up for story time with Uncle D, join us around 6 PM at OLP.

Our Lady of Providence Parish
8866 Pardee Road
Crestwood, MO
314-843-3570
http://www.olpstl.com/

A Rough Start

2009-03-03T20:29:00.007-06:00

For those of you who failed to attend the fish fry at the Cathedral Basilica last week, below is a run down of what you missed.

1. An impressive menu, including baked fish and cheese pizza, most of which had sold out before 6 PM
2. A hefty eight dollar ticket price (+) an extra charge for drinks and desserts
3. The pleasure of watching me choke on stray bones in my jack salmon
4. Dry and bland mac ‘n cheese

Apart from being unimpressed with the food, they could use some help in the operations department. Word of advice from someone who’s been around the block, if you’re going to charge $8 only to run out of coveted dishes, such as baked fish and spaghetti, best to give me a generous portion of something chocolaty and free-of-charge to make up for it. At the very least, hand out free booze to help drown our sorrows.

Lucky for the Cathedral parishioners, it was the first Friday of Lent, so they have six weeks to get their act together. As conciliation, we contributed to helping keep the Cathedral School open (http://cathedralstl.org/school/), and got to hear Uncle D talk about when he delivered three of his four daughters. Abooya!

I give this fry 4 out of 10 fish patties.

Is It Possible For a Fish Fry To Be Trendy?

2009-02-25T09:07:00.001-06:00

My friend, and finder of obscure news, Sean, passed along the below link this morning. It appears someone is attempting to map out the fish fries in St. Louis city and beyond. While I think we’ll all agree, his/her starting point is really a sad attempt, I was shocked at how many responses the said mapper received from average joes suggesting additional fish fries to add – some EVEN I have never heard of.

So I ask you this, are fish fries becoming trendy in St. Louis? While yes, we live in a predominantly Catholic city of beer drinkers, I never imagined that fish fries would eventually become mainstream. Can we credit my blog for this apparent new-found popularity, you ask? Well, considering most of my readers are either related to me or close friends, I think not.

If someone creates a group on Facebook entitled “Fans of St. Louis Fish Fries,” I’m quitting.

http://www.stltoday.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=609370

Put On Your Eatin' Pants

2009-02-23T22:00:00.000-06:00

Hey folks,

It's that time of year again. Time to celebrate the sanctity of the Lenten season with fried cod and cheap beer. This week we're kicking the season off at a classy joint -- the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis.

For those of you who are new to the blog, the point, or lack thereof, is to attend a fish fry every Friday during Lent as a means to entertain ourselves with irrelevant fish fry fodder. It also serves as a cheap happy hour.

In other news, looks like we may have some competition this year. At first, after reading this article, I thought...maybe we need a catch phrase and t-shirts. Shortly after, I decided authoring a fish fry blog is all the public humiliation I'm good for. At least for the time being.

http://www.stlouisreview.com/article.php?id=12542

Friday, February 27 @ 6:15 PM
Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis
4431 Lindell Blvd

St Louis, MO 63108

(314) 373-8200

http://www.cathedralstl.org/

I like your shoes

2008-03-25T21:35:00.000-05:00

It’s a shame how one unfortunate incident can really put a damper on an otherwise damn near perfect fish fry. The food was unusually tasty, the menu diverse, the good company a ‘plenty and the staff extremely accommodating (after Uncle Don told them we were reviewing their operation).

Our night was nearly complete when we noticed an older man lurking around our tables and staring at our feet. We initially wrote him off as just another crazy fish fry groupie, but later learned that he was definitely not there for the catfish.

This dirty old man started approaching women in our group wearing brightly colored shoes. After complimenting them on their shoes he began asking them to move their feet around and show off their shoes a bit. After he followed my sister, who was sporting her new yellow flats, to the parking lot and asked her where she lived, we all finally caught on and big, bad papa Goedeker sent him on his way.

While I have met many strange people on my venture, including the tranny at St. Pius, this was my first fish fry sexual predator.

In an effort to repress the memory of our brush with the pervert, I’d have to say that St. George may have been one of the best fish fries yet.

Wait time: While the line appeared manageable, it proved to move extremely slowly. Of course I found a way around waiting by jumping in line with a group of friends closer to the front of the line. Next year I plan to create media credentials for myself so that I will never have to wait in line at a fish fry again, and cheating will no longer be necessary.

Menu: I was elated to have finally been able to order hush puppies! These are usually thought to be a staple at fish fries, but have managed to elude me this Lenten season. Fish options included fried cod, shrimp, jack salmon and catfish, and the sides included green beans, slaw, mostacolli and potatoes.

Taste: While it looks like I made a mistake ordering the cod over the jack salmon (I was afraid it would come out with a tail like it did at Joan of Arc), overall I was please with my meal. Sides were good, dessert was AMAZING and the jack salmon was a huge hit with the crowd, especially with my Uncle Don who sent me back for seconds.

Price: We got off cheap compared to the deal we were dealt at SHF. While I didn’t foot my own bill (that’s what good boyfriends are for), I believe you can get a good helping of fish, two sides, choice of bread, a drink and dessert for under $6!

Overall Rating: 9.5 out of 10 fish patties! A nearly perfect score, not taking into account Mr. Shoe Fetish.

Service without the smile

2008-03-25T19:43:00.000-05:00

I decided to give into peer pressure and pay a visit to my alma mater, Seven Holy Founders. While I enjoyed the tasty food and good company, the service, in word, SUCKED! Perhaps the students and staff at SHF need to study up on their people skills.

Wait Time: Not too bad. The long line moved fast enough to keep us from complaining, but slow enough to allow me to hop out and purchase my dessert before dinner (the #1 key to an enjoyable fish fry experience.)

Price: Evidently the prices at the fish fry are rising at the same accelerated rate of the tuition costs at Seven Holy Founders. This fry really burned a hole in our pockets, with $8.75 getting you a choice of fish, two sides and a slice of bread (approximately a $2.50 value).

Taste: I have to admit, the kitchen staff at SHF know what they’re doing. The spaghetti is THE best side I’ve ever had at a fish fry. This may not mean much to most, but to someone who has spent just about every Friday night of the past two months eating fried fish and mediocre sides out of church basements, this is a big deal. My store-bought cake was also delicious. Fish was, well fish fry fish

Atmosphere: It was nice to see so many familiar faces show up for this leg of the tour. We were all having a great time catching up and reminiscing about old times at the Joe Becker tournament when we suddenly felt like we were being kicked out. This was confirmed when the staff started stacking the folding chairs on the table my grandpa was still sitting at. Guess they didn’t know I’d be writing about their RUDE behavior on the World Wide Web!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 fish patties. I would have given them a 9 if the student volunteer on staff had let me have an extra cup for my tarter sauce.

Illinios Bureau: The never ending quest for spaghetti

2008-03-17T16:51:00.000-05:00

Last Friday the Illinois Bureau managed to make it over to Granite City to visit the Holy Family Parish. Coincidentally it just happened to be the only venue we have visited that was not a Knights of Columbus!

Wait time: 6. I am probably being a little harsh, but there was quite a wait to get food. First you had to wait to place your order and pay, then you had to wait again to actually pick up your food. It was a little busy, but no mercy here!

Selection: 7. The selection was pretty much average with the choices of fish being cod, shrimp or walleye. The sides were only slaw, fries and mac & cheese. Once again no spaghetti, as Illinois apparently doesn't allow Italian food to be served on Fridays! Huge serving sizes and the actual presence of desert made up for the lack of entree choices.

Taste: 9. No complaints here! The fries were a delicious "crinkle cut" variety that were fried golden brown. The mac & cheese was homemade and cheesy to the max (no leaking fluids were detected). The cod was good, and the walleye gained points for being one of the most scrumptious fish found in inland waters.

Price: 9. This category plays like a broken record, but depending on how much beer was consumed a person can dine for less than a Lincoln and 5 Washingtons. The previously mentioned serving sizes and the free option for all you can eat walleye gained huge points. Also in an unprecedented move, the desert prices were slashed to a quarter before we left.

Overall Rating: 7.75 fish patties

My Faith Restored!

2008-03-13T13:41:00.000-05:00

Throughout the past few weeks I’ve come to realize that reviewing fish fries is a little like training for the half marathon. In the beginning, it all very seems fun and exciting. A few weeks in, this excitement slowly begins to fade and the task starts to feel a little monotonous. Then, something I’ve learned recently in the case of the fish fries is that this monotony can quickly turn into regret when triggered by an unfortunate experience, of which I like to refer to as the St. Pius fish fry.

After such an experience, any reasonable person could understand why I was dreading spending yet another Friday night choking down greasy-fied frozen fish and cold canned green beans. Then I remembered why I started this in the first place. This blog serves as a guide to all the God-fearing and fish-loving people out there who are forever in search of a good meal that will satisfy and at the same time save them from succumbing to the temptation to eat meat on Fridays during Lent. It also serves as a source of weekly entertainment for my friends and family during their lunch break. Deciding that I could not let my readers down, I had no choice but to be brave and learn to bring more beer money. So with the support of about 20 of my closest, friends, family and colleagues, I made St. Joan of Arc the fourth stop on the 2008 fish fry tour.

To my delight, the team at St. Joan of Arc managed to restore my faith in fish fries and inspired me to continue on with my mission – and that’s not just the beer talking.

Wait time: The team at St. J of A took an innovative approach to keeping the wait time to a minimum. The staff would go through the line and tell half of the dine-in customers to get into the carry-out line in order to even up the lines and cut down on the wait time. While most in our group are accustomed to using this tactic on a weekly basis, it was nice to have permission for once.

Price: Bargain basement prices with six bucks buying one a healthy serving of fish, two sides and a drink. One thing that was troublesome was that dessert was not included in the price of the meal. This left many in our group confused and without dessert ticket. Oh well, this just meant prime selection for me!

Taste: Overall the food was good and most importantly, edible. I must say while I’m usually not a mac’n’cheese kind of girl, the mac’n’cheese was creamy and delicious. My cod was a little overdone, but slather on a little extra tarter sauce and it might have been the best fish produced at a fish fry this year. However, I do have to subtract a few points for the fried salmon still having a tail intact – gross! Makes one wonder what happened to the head.

Atmosphere: The crowd seemed very friendly and unusually normal for a fish fry crowd. Maybe this was because half the room was made up of my family friends and co-workers. Way to represent!

Overall rating: 9 out of 10 fish patties

Maryville K of C Revisited

2008-03-13T13:36:00.000-05:00

In light of the recent trip to the Maryville K of C, the Illinois Bureau decided to revisit one of the more enjoyable fish frys in the Metro East; the Edwardsville K of C. Let's face it, we really want to avoid having a situation like the Missouri Sector encounter last week at St. Soggy Fish of Leaky Mac & Cheese! This week Don, Kathy and Kate joined as guest critics!

Wait time: 10 Once again the Edwardsville K of C is the cream of the crop when it comes to comfort! Our witty waiter Tom took care of our every need while carding half of the table for beer orders. Everyone is friendly and the atmosphere is the best we've seen.

Selection: 8 Still your basic choices, but unfortunately no deserts again! Spaghetti would be a nice addition to the menu, and can someone tell me what Mac & Cheese Nuggets are!?

Taste: 10 The food seemed even better than last time. Inspector Don liked the cod so much he sampled it twice! We also played a game of guess that spice with what was determined to be dill weed in the clam chowder!

Dining tip of the week: Try yellow mustard on your fish, Inspector Kate claims it makes the meal!

Price: 8 Even though the price of gas has escalated, inflation has yet to reach the local fish market! $10 per guest will nab enough fish to make JC proud. Deal of the week -- for only $1.75 you can get a grilled cheese sandwich and french fries. If they had late night hours Jack in the Box and Taco Bell might have some competition!

That's all folks! Check you later for more fish fry news!

Remind me, why did I agree to this again?

2008-03-06T12:20:00.000-06:00

Everyone who has ever been to a fish fry before would probably agree on one thing – it’s certainly not five star dining. Still, in most cases we get lucky and the friendly service, good company and reasonable prices make up for the fact that we’re really eating low-quality frozen fish prepared for the masses. Unfortunately for the small group of us who attended the St. Pius fish fry last Friday night, this was not the case. To my shock and dismay waiting in a 15 minute line behind a mildly unattractive middle-aged couple who couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other was actually one of the high points of our night (come on, it gave us something to laugh at).

From being out of key side items, such as potato salad and slaw, to the tarter sauce filled punch bowl complete with unidentified floating objects, to a rumor that the garbage disposal was out, to the live entertainment who were awkward at best, the staff at St. Pius appeared to be experiencing some major technical difficulties last Friday.

So rest assure, all you cynics of the fish fry experience who always have something better to do on Friday night (you know who you are), in this instance you were better off with your Red Lobster and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Wait Time – While the line appeared long, it moved quickly. A nice touch was when half way through they handed out entry forms for attendance prizes. OK, so the prizes consisted of knitted afghans and odd-looking home décor, but let’s face it everyone likes to win something.

Price – Competitive prices, with $6.75 getting you fish, three sides, dessert and a drink.

Menu – Well depends on if you want me to judge on the posted menu or what was actually available to the customers. You can imagine my disappointment after waiting in line for 15 minutes only to realize my side choices now consisted of cold, bottom of the barrel mac’n’cheese and canned green beans.

Taste – One word – yuck! While the catfish looked appetizing, by the time I sat down, ready to dig in, I realized the grease from the fish had completely soaked through the bottom half of my sandwich. On top of that the mac’n’cheese was cold and leaking some sort of clear liquid, my sister Gwen hoped was butter. Who really knows?! Judging from how it tasted, it could’ve been Anthrax!

Atmosphere – When the website boasted live music, I envisioned some upbeat Springsteenesque’ entertainment; I couldn’t have been more wrong. While well-intentioned, the band played what at times sounded like funeral music, which seemed appropriate as we all tried to choke down our meals.

Overall Rating – 3 out of 10 fish patties. Hey, the bartenders were nice, but I walked out of there hungry and without attendance prize.

Give me some sugar!

2008-02-28T14:25:00.000-06:00

We at the Illinois Bureau decided to celebrate Washington's Birthday on Friday February 22nd by attending yet another Knights of Columbus fish fry. This time the Maryville K of C was the victim.

Wait time: 5

The set-up was a little confusing, and it took forever to get our food! It didn't really seem that busy so I am not sure what the hold up was. I did see a few pitchers of beer being delivered to the fry shack!

Selection: 6

Decent selection, but nothing to rave about. The menu featured the usual suspects, catfish, cod and shrimp were there with a new friend named Jack Salmon. All fried, all the time! Fries, mac & cheese, hush puppies and slaw round out the side choices. Drink selections were somewhat limited. The biggest disappointment was the fact that there was no desert available!!!!!

Price: 8

Nothing new here, $7-10 a person and you get a meal fit for a king!

Taste: 7

I was a little worried about the Jack Salmon, but it was actually pretty good. You had the option of salt and vinegar for fries which was a nice touch. The slaw was homemade and a little funky!

Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10 fish patties

Alrighty then, I hope that this sheds a little more light on the good parts of the east side!

Damn the weather gods

2008-02-22T12:00:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's odd that I'm damning gods on a blog that revolves around the Catholic tradition of abstaining from meat on Fridays during Lent, but of course I'm referring to Zeus, the greek god of weather, and not my man JC. Regardless, I regret to inform you that I have taken it upon myself to cancel the fish fry festivities tonight on account of weather (mainly because my sedan sucks in the snow). Feel free to attend solo and report back to me your experiences. If it sucks, the rest of us will find a different option for next week.

Happy Friday!

Illinois Bureau: A well-oiled machine on the east side

2008-02-19T22:16:00.000-06:00

Abby and Pat Durst of the IBFFI (Illinois Bureau of Fish Fry Investigators) have managed to notch another tally on the Knights of Columbus circuit. This week we were able to sample the Bethalto K of C fare. A little bit of a change from last week as we chose to carry out rather than dine in.

Wait time: 7 - Although our arrival was early in the evening (5pm) there was a healthy line forming already. Surprisingly the time to wait, order and carry out only reached 15 minutes. The system there seems to be pretty well-oiled. I think dine in might have added another 5-10 minutes.

Menu: 9 - There is a reasonably large selection for dining at the Bethalto K of C. Fish choices included both baked and fried cod, whitefish, whole catfish, shrimp and buffalo. Sides were hush puppies, slaw, fries and potato salad. Dine in dinner included spaghetti, and all diners had the option for fresh Italian bread, grazi! Deserts were present this time and were homemade varieties of pies and cakes! Beer seems to be less readily available than at other venues.

Price: 10 - Carry out was priced by the Lb.($7) or 1/2 Lb($4) of fish. Shrimp were $3 for a basket of 6. Deserts and sides were $1 apiece. Less than $20 to eat for 2 and still have leftovers. Here is the stat of the week, the Bethalto K of C offers an $8 all you can eat fish for dine in!!! That includes fish, spaghetti, 2 sides, bread, 1 desert, drink (water, tea, punch)! I got full just typing that in!

Taste: 7 - We sampled the shrimp, fried cod and buffalo, and found the fish to be pretty tasty, not to0 greasy. The slaw was ok at best, but the hush puppies were a nice touch. The bread was really good! I didn't get sauces to go, so that sort of hurt the taste rating, a little tartar goes a long way! The deserts were fine, great German chocolate cake and custard pie hit the spot, but sometimes you just crave a cupcake with sprinkles on top!

Overall Rating: 8.25 out of 10 fish patties

Steer clear of the catfish!

2008-02-19T22:09:00.000-06:00

The not-so-well kept secret fish fry at Epiphany Catholic Church in South City was packed with more god-loving fish-eaters than I would have liked, but perhaps rightfully so. Equipped with a diverse menu and superb customer service team, the fry at Epiphany managed to live up to my expectations – despite the wait time.

I regret to say, my dear Uncle Don did not experience the same satisfaction. His catfish sandwich was greasy, and basically gross. Knowing how a greasy fish situation could really put a damper on one’s dinning experience, I took it upon myself to request a trade off – Uncle Don’s crappy catfish in exchange for a fresh cod sandwich. Demonstrating the true meaning of customer service, the good parishioners at Epiphany gladly obliged my request.

Wait time: Too long! A few of us demonstrated true Christian-like behavior by waiting in the longer and slow-moving dine-in line. That is before the vast majority wised up and opted for the shorter carry-out line and then dinned in anyway.

Menu: While dinning on bottom-feeders may not be my entrée of choice, I appreciated the variety of fish offered at Epiphany. Straying from the usual, salmon and catfish were served alongside the old stand-bys – cod and shrimp. Side orders also were a’ plenty with spaghetti, mac’n’cheese, coleslaw, corn, green beans and applesauce on the menu.

Price: All items were offered a la carte and at an affordable price at that. To demonstrate my point, I believe my friend, Andrew Starr, ate for under eight bucks. Not a small feat for such a fat man :)

Taste: Now I’m not sure if the food was really that good, or if I was just so hungry that deep fried dirt would have hit the spot, but my cod sandwich, spaghetti and seemingly home-made gooey butter cake was positively delicious! Some trusted sources with discerning tastes (aka Reba and Jason) also reported that the mac’n’cheese rocked the house.

Atmosphere: Too crowded for my liking, and the bus station in the middle of the room was pretty unappetizing.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 fish patties

Illinios Bureau: K of C is where it's at!

2008-02-13T09:05:00.000-06:00

If you like to frequent the east side, read below for a report from Abby and Pat Durst of the IBFFI (Illinois Bureau of Fish Fry Investigators)

Last Friday (Feb 8) we attended the fish fry at the Knights of Columbus in Edwardsville, IL. I would have to say that it was a good dining experience and should rank well when compared to other setups.

Wait Time: 10 out of 10 fish patties
One of the unique traits of the Eville K of C fry is that there is typically no waiting in line or ordering from a counter. They have a cafeteria type setup where you walk in, sit down and order from a waiter! In a matter of 10-15 minutes your food arrives! Need more to drink, just ask! Need more napkins and some tarter sauce, no problem!

Selection: 6 out of 10 fish patties
The K of C offers basic fried fish choices (cod and Catfish) in both sandwich and platter varieties (w/slaw and fries). Appetizers include onion rings, mushrooms etc... Drinks include alcohol, sodas and tea. We arrived a little later in the evening and they were out of desert though, ouch!

Price: 8 out of 10 fish patties
Nothing to shocking here, between 6-10 per person to eat depending on how much you ritz it up! The beer was cheap and refreshing ($2 bottles)

Taste: 8 out of 10 fish patties
Both the catfish and cod had a light crispy batter and were rather tasty! Mushrooms were only average. Much to my dismay I can't comment on desert!!!

Overall rating: 8 out of 10 fish patties

There you have it, we will hopefully have another report from the IBFFI (Illinois Bureau of Fish Fry Investigators) soon. Good day and fine dining!

A merry kick-off at Mary, Mother of the Church

2008-02-12T12:34:00.000-06:00

It was a strong showing at this year's kick-off to the fish fry tour. While most in attendance were Goedekers, or those fraternizing with Goedekers, we had a few brave newbies come out. What made our time so merry was not only that the food was good and I was pleasantly surprised by the option of a baked potato as a side item, but I think what set Mary Mother apart from the rest was the friendly, personable service we received. Now I’m not sure if someone tipped off the help that I was reviewing their every move, or if it was my notebook that gave it away, but I haven’t experienced service like that since…well never! Tina* and Nina* we there every step of the way, taking our plates, refilling our drinks and even replenishing our desserts for free!

Even factoring in the embarrassing food ticket mix-up, Jason snatching Aunt Kathy’s last piece of milk cake and the unidentified crumbs hanging out in the punch bowl of cocktail sauce, it was a thoroughly enjoyable time had by all.

Wait time: none!

Menu: Pretty basic, with the refreshing exception of the baked potato as a side option. Fried cod and shrimp platters were available and included a choice of two sides -- spaghetti, baked potato, green beans, slaw and apple sauce. Wheat or white bread is served with all dinners, and all meals included a drink and a selection of home-made (or store-bought) desserts.

Price: A bargain at $6

Taste: Everything tasted great, until I got to the end of my fried cod patty and it started to get mysteriously mushy. I want to give a special shout-out to my Godmother’s milk cake (which I was able to mooch a bite from Jason, who again stole the last piece).

Atmosphere: Not too crowded or loud, with friendly people eager to help make your dinning experience most pleasurable.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 fish patties

* Not their real names.

Yes, I'm really doing this

2008-02-12T12:29:00.000-06:00

That's right I created a blog. No, this is not one of those ordinary blogs where people write about the mundane happenings of their lives in hopes that someone, other than him or herself, finds it interesting or funny (although that may be next on my list). This blog revolves around the sanctity of the Lenten season and sacrifices we Catholics make in preparation of Jesus' rise from the dead. Yep that's right people, we're talking fish fries. The events where parishes unite to throw some frozen fish patties in a mass fryer in an effort to capitalize on no-meat Fridays and raise some dough for the church.

That's why I decided it's my mission this season to gather as many people as I can convince to join me on my quest for the best fish fry that St. Louis has to offer, bringing new business to area fries and in turn entertaining all of you with my friendly (otherwise noted) critique of the events. Plus, I'm hoping I'll eventually pen such a name for myself that I will start getting free meals out of it.

So read on people, and tag along sometimes to experience the true meaning of the season -- mediocre fish, cheap beer and the all the Goedeker commentary you can stomach.

See you there!